In Which Edward Narrowly Escapes Death.

Edward narrowly escaped death this evening. His escape was so narrow that he was nearly killed in the process of escaping. Ironic, eh? Ahem.

(If you hadn't noticed, lately I have formed a habit of saying 'ahem' after I make a lame joke. It rather means, "That was, errr, supposed to be funny, but I know it wasn't really, so you needn't feel obligated to laugh. Also, I'm moving on now, so you don't feel lame about not laughing at my un-funny joke." It rather amuses me, if no one else. As I say, you needn't feel obligated to laugh. I amuse myself and select other people, which is plenty for me. I would get nervous if I got too funny and too many people started paying attention to me. Ahem.)

In any event, Edward's terribly narrow escape rather, if I may use the vernacular, scared the 'crap' out of me. I was nothing less than terribly frightened, to say the very least. If Edward had happened to die so suddenly, at so young an age, I simply would have cried profusely. In fact, the extent of the salt water that would probably have streamed from my eyes might well have been labeled 'weeping'. Fortunately, this was not necessary, as my incredible ninja skills saved Edward. As you might imagine, I was more than unusually proud of myself. But more than that, terribly grateful that Edward is still with us today. He is resting at the moment, as he was rather shaken up after the shock of the ordeal. After all, one does not have to deal with narrowly escaping death every day.